On a scale of 1 - 10, 1 being divorce and 10 being a dream, how would you rate your relationship with your wife? More importantly, how do you feel your wife would rate your marriage? The answer will certainly surprise you so be prepared. Phil Potts and I talk about his kick in the gut moment when he found out where his wife rated their marriage. As usual, listen with an open mind so you can grow with us today.
Phil Potts is a Nationally Certified Marriage Coach, the director of Renegade Gentlemen Men’s Ministry, and the author of Habits of Heroic Husbands. A decade ago, he found himself at a Chickfil-A marriage retreat, ranking his marriage on a 1-10 scale. The surprise came when he compared his number with his wife’s.
They were miles apart, and the news hit him like a bombshell. That was when Phil decided that he would begin fighting for his relationship with his wife, and that he would not stop until he had made it a 10. Phil’s recent book, Habits of Heroic Husbands, is a summary of what he did that actually worked. Along the journey, he left his unfulfilling career as an optometrist to help other men who found themselves in a similar boat.
Time Stamped Show Notes
(click a time stamp below to time travel directly to that point in the conversation.)
[6:14] So, where are you at in the World?
- I'm in Alabama. I grew up in New York but I've been in Alabama for 10 years.
[7:15] Attitude of Gratitude
- I'm thankful for second chances. I have screwed up so many times. I'm thankful for second chances.
[8:13] Let's get Personal
- I'm thankful for second, third, fourth and even fifth chances.
- I got divorced from my first marriage and that just was not allowed in my community.
- Got married again and realized I am not good at relationships.
- I realized this at a Chickfil-A retreat.
[10:00] Kick in the Gut Moment
- After that Chickfil-A retreat.
- I was going for the food and the social events.
- When my wife told me our relationship was a 2-3 out of 10, that took me to my knees.
- I was failing at our relationship.
I just felt restless and I finally realized it was my career that had to go.
Phil realized he could make less money in a career he enjoyed and live a healthier and more abundant life.
[27:13] What is Renegade Gentlemen Men’s Ministry?
- I founded Renegade Gentlemen Men’s Ministry for guys who want to be better husbands.
Paying it Forward
[31:00] Action Steps you can take today.
- Just spend a few seconds what it would look like if you and your wife had more in your relationship.
- Watch the free video series at the link provided below.
[32:38] What daily habits make the biggest impact in your life?
- The most important Habit I have is morning anticipation and evening reflection.
[343;56] What are you reading or listening to right now and why?
- My favorite marriage book is "Love and War" by John and Stasi Eldridge.
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[34:50] What do you feel holds most men back from reaching that 10 in their relationship?
- Thinking that close enough is close enough.
- I fear failure.
[37:02] What does Living A Life of Abundance mean to you?
- I think I would have to say, maximizing potential.
[38:40] Parting piece of guidance
- I would love to help Men of Abundance move their marriage forward. So I'm going to give away about $50 of resources. For the first 50 men.
Wally's Take Away:
Do not take your relationships for granted. And do not assume your relationships is going well. It may be going well for you. But how does your wife feel? Have you asked her?
Phil's Book - Habits of Heroic Heroes will walk you through the steps. Get your copy today.
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